A Mother’s Heart
Everyone has his or her own idea of what motherhood looks like. For many, motherhood represents a seemingly never-ending season of sleepless nights. For others, it marks a lifetime of devotion (sometimes even at the expense of one’s own personal growth).
As for me, my current vision of motherhood looks more like this: 3-hourly diaper changes, being patient with a tantruming 4-year old, dancing wildly with my 7-year old to her favourite tunes, nursing a pre-schooler’s bruised ego after losing to his sister at a game of UNO, coaxing a 4-month old to sleep through the night and teaching a primary schooler, discouraged by the endless task of schoolwork and tests, to take on her responsibilities of being a student with a glad heart.
When my days seem long and my nights even longer, I am often tempted to wonder what life might be like without the immense task of having 3 spirited little individuals to mother. But something holds me back from indulging in that thought. It is the whisper of a small voice telling me to “breathe” – a humble reminder that my children each represent a unique miracle of God, created by His very hands. And so, when I am most challenged and feel like I’m losing control, I take a deep breath, close my eyes and ask God to show me His heart. Instead, He shows me mine, the heart of a mother who started out overflowing with love for her newborn babies but then got caught up in the grind of daily life.
The contrast between His heart and mine leaves me awestruck at how enormous our Heavenly Father’s heart for us is and I am encouraged to keep on trying, trying my best to love unconditionally; to delight in my children even when they are at their most disobedient.
I will wear my heart – my mother’s heart – without fear. A heart that has been transformed by my Heavenly Father and called to speak life into the hearts of the children He has chosen for me to mother. I look at my 3 who are full of life, full of depth, full of joy, and my heart is brimming with a love far more generous than my own.
To Skyler, Elijah and Zeke, I endeavour to mother you with my eyes fixed on God’s love for me; that I may use His wisdom to disciple you 3 to be honourable in character, to employ His sensitivity to know when to let go and to pursue His heart so that I may know how to love you for a lifetime.
Sue -Ann is a mother of 3 who is in constant pursuit of the calm in the chaotic. She drinks a little too much bubble-tea for her own good and secretly spends her mornings in pyjamas while her children are in school.